Sunday, February 3, 2013
How I met my Nerd Prince
Dating as a nerd is hard. You need to find a man (or woman as the case might be) who is more interesting than reading your comic books and playing with your action figures or discussing online all the mistakes in the Spiderman movies.
But if you want to breed is unavoidable. Of course IMO if anyone can use their brain power and obsessive nature to successfully win the evolutionary race is us.
Once I was set in the goal of getting married I started to explore the best strategies.
I got first into general dating sites like Yahoo Personals and Match.com. Waste of time not a favorable nerd to normal ratio.
Then I decided to go to nerdpassions, in spite of the name it didn't had a lot of nerds there either. Not sure why.
I refined my search to get to more scientific sites. Okcupid had personality tests and supposedly matches you with the people more compatible based on their answers and likings. Funny enough I messaged the most compatible guy in the site, around 99% of compatibility with me, and he surely found me unattractive since he never answered back.
After being on the site for around a year in 2004 I moved on to Eharmony. I had read the book written by the founder: Falling in love for all the right reasons and his approach has promise. Twenty-Nine dimensions seemed like a good way to match for long relationship and the price should filter out people that are joking around or getting validation from the invitations they get. But after filling up the questionnaire they found me unmatchable.
That hurt a lot. I though that I will never meet anyone. It took me a few months to gain perspective about the whole system. I was trying to get matched with the pool of people they had at the time. If my match was one in a million I was just unlucky that he was not there at that point in time.
Then I remembered something. I used to visit the library set by the American Embassy in my country. I read the SCIAM magazines there and I found out about Sciconnect, in an add they had on the back. I though the add was cute: two lab mice together. It seemed so simple: How many times had I felt like a rat in a mace?
I though that if everything failed I could just sign in it and see what happened.
I wrote an overlong, probably in terrible grammar, profile. I uploaded a picture that I though presented me in a good light without being misleading and looked at the guys that were my type, had profiles that showed similar interests and were smiling in their pics. I messaged around twenty a simple introduction “You seem like an interesting guy I would like to get to know you better” and waited.
Only around ten answered back and the filtering process started. Some of them fell through, some others just stopped messaging me, I did the same to some others. But there was this guy who was never too cold or too hot, seemed reliable, interested and slowly shared things about his daily life. How he was doing at work, what it was like the weather, slowly escalating asking question, answering me back. We got to know each other and by the time my three months account was about to expire I found that we were writing each other daily sometimes three times a day. Long emails also, with all the inane details of our daily lives. We had already interchanged several pictures, talked over the phone. Even sent each other presents and I found myself checking my email at every moment to see if he had anything new to say.
I told him that my account was expiring and that if he though I should renew it and if he was planning to renew his. Both were no answers and well the rest is a story that will tell later, if you are good.
Now we are married with a LO and I couldn't be happier.
So yeah it took me a while and I overcame many obstacles but in the end true nerd love wins.
I hope this inspire the single ones and make the married ones remember how much dating sucks and how lucky they are to have each other.
I know I do, every day.